I’m an avid reader but try to stay away from self-help books because they’re just not my thing. I do love autobiographies, though, so if you kind of merge the two then you have piqued my interest. Add that the author is from one of my all-time favorite bands and it’s pretty much a given that I’ma devour whatever is in those hallowed pages.
I recently got sucked into Diamond Dallas Page’s Positively Unstoppable: The Art of Owning It thinking it was more stories about wrasslin’ and less self-help with a huge helping of pushing a product (DDP Yoga which, I’ll admit, is the bee’s knees….) which was overall a kind of disappointing read. That said, what Cold bassist Lindsay Manfredi has here with Unfuckwithable: A Guide to Inspired Badassery is kind of an anti self-help book that’s filled with practical philosophies from life experiences that has no agenda other than lifting you up and setting you on a righteous path to be the best you. There’s also lots of swearing.
To really break it down, the book is kind of like the sort of deep conversation I’d have on a Tuesday evening in a dorm room during my college daze at Berklee College Of Music with a community of friends, colleagues, and artists under no pretense, far from prim and proper and just being real….a casual conversation but it means something. Get it?
While it’s also filled with quotes from other great thinkers and modern philosophers as well as musicians and comedians that have inspired her, Manfredi’s own ideas and ideals from her life as a musician, being on the social media and marketing scene, co-founding Girls Rock! Indianapolis as well as being a daughter, mother, partner, and wife are ultimately the star here.
The book is also filled with modern mantras to be used in your everyday life like “It’s NONE of your business what other people think of you” (This one’s from Joni, “a WISE, WISE woman” you’ll learn more about within the book) in response to letting go of that burden of caring what other people think or about just staying humble (“YOU are no BETTER than ANYONE. We are all human beings with beautiful Spirits. Let’s always remember that.”)
Some of the advice given is stuff you’ve probably heard before (…”everything is going to BE okay. Remember that no one is perfect…”) but will surely put a smile on your face when put through the Manfredi filter such is the case with “Do the Fucking Work” which is an actual title of a chapter here. Or another gem of a chapter title: Fuck Everyone Else’s Opinion (Chapter 14 title, I shit you not).
As a grudgemaster with an elephant’s memory, a lot of what she’s said really spoke to me personally (Within It’s Okay To Let Your Guard Down Sometimes) about letting go of past problems and while they help you grow into who you are but also, don’t suffer toxic people in your life (“Walk away from the vampires.”). I recently reconnected with someone who wasn’t necessarily toxic but just all around negative and it’s been especially freeing, for me at least, to just not dwell on the past anymore.
There’s also philosophies on work ethic and career paths and about loving your job but not letting it define you (Chapter 19. You Are Not Your Job) and to remember that this is a journey if you’re not at your dream job currently but regardless of where you are in your professional career always remember: “Wake up and kick ass in whatever position you’re in, in whichever city you’re in, and whatever mood you happen to be in.” Or as a parent myself, ideals like “Changing your language and how you see things” is a daily regimen when handling raising a little human right.
Some are just basic common sense guidelines for enlightened individuals: “Take A Social Media Break-And Don’t Fucking Announce It” “The Left Lane Is For PASSING-So, Please, Get The Fuck Over”. Then there’s just some killer life advice that you should do no matter what like “Listen To Your Favorite Album On Full Blast” (There’s a whole chapter on that!), and “Live With Intention Every Day”.
In closing, Manfredi says it best:
“Remember that you’re fucking awesome. Give yourself all the credit in the world for being more than capable of making some amazing shifts happen in your life. You got this!”
Unfuckwithable: A Guide to Inspired Badassery is available now via Rose Gold Publishing, LLC and can be yours by clicking here or here. For more from Manfredi, follow her through her personal website here or on the socials by clicking here, here, or here and for Cold-related biz, check them out by clicking here, here, or here.